bruises and chocolate

man if you could only see the bruises on my KNEE!!! there's like a little goblin family of eight on the inside of my right knee from where i bashed it into the snare drum repeatedly during practice today! jesus i thought i was going to vomit but no i did not, nor did i start bleeding from any wounds, though i did keep my hand wrapped in tape to keep the big blister from splitting. weeeeeee. i've developed the hugest crush on the spiky-black-haired-pale-skinned-muse-listening-boy that works at our rehearsal space. i can write about him here because i know he will never find it, did i just say never? hmmmm. i mean, hopefully by the time he reads this he will think it's 'cute' and not 'stalkerish' hahahha. anyway. it's so fun to be like this :)


i've made myself a cup of hot choclolate which is damn good and i'm about to start on a new book adventure, well, continuing a book a didn't finish earlier this year called the mission of art by alex grey. he is the most amazing psychedelic painter/artist who paints the energy of people in the most spectacular forms...you really should visit his site for a glance if you are not familiar with him - it will make you stare and give you a break from your day, go on...www.alexgrey.com
i came across his work through ken wilber (who is probably one of the most brilliant men alive today) while studying transpersonal psychology. anyway...i'll recap on that once i get back into it.

jessica and i have decided to live apart come september when we move out of these sublets. i think it best in the end. we live totally different schedules and need to be in different parts of the city. i cannot bear to leave the lower east side, it is too perfect to be right near everyone and everything and a five minute walk to all the bars and clubs i like...and she needs to be on the west side near columbia and where it's quiet...so, looks like we both still stay in this beautiful city of manhattan, though who knows what we will find in this lovely apartment search (again? i swear i just did this! ha)

i realize my most creative times are at night, after 1030 pm. around 10pm no matter how much sleep i've gotten, i get tired and dozing and want to go to bed. but if i make it past 1030 i catch a second wind and suddenly, as if brought in by the magic fairy of earth night i'm on a roll, awake and coherent and wanting to work on stuff - music, websites, job hunting, etc.

today has been one of the easy days. i got up groggy since i went to bed at 5 and was up at 10 for practice but was bouncing off my own two legs after practice and lunch and wandered around, shopping and looking at people and being happy beyond any measure that i live here. finally, after all these years of thinking and wanting it, i made it here, manhattan. and the shadows still come and the light still shines and i take it all in and just keep breathing. as one of my best friends said so recently 'nothing is what is seems'...so why worry?

:)

give yourself a big hug, roll over and hug the person next to you. if there's no one there then just beat the pillow (or chair, or air) once and make a wish. anything is possible, but only when you believe it.

oh yeah, let's all just have a moment to appreciate the band called MUSE. i finally got some pics from the show i saw in may before i moved...best show hands down without hesitation i have ever seen. it was utter chaos and the biggest blessing to be there. they were beyond out of control in the most beautiful way. and i get to see them next saturday!!! thank you jesus. here you go