??????? ?? ????? [i'm scared to blog]

ok kids. listen up. i'm scared to blog because i most likely will incriminate myself. first of all. here he his.

i have somehow developed a micro-cosmic attachment to this man. don't worry. the feeling's mutual. what the?? HA. i heart all over his mom's face. take that clown.

now i'm not quite sure how to discuss last night without totally a) upsetting people b) being not-so-nice-and-that's-not-like-me or c) oh i dunno but there probably should be a c

ok.
you want a list? sure you do. my brain can't really form very long sentences right now anyway. ok here goes. to all my 'friends' [;)] that convinced me this was a good idea? a nice little experiment? healthy? NIET. reasons why:

* 9th and a
that's all i'm going to say. 9th and a. i don't know the address. i do not have the address. no no no. it's 9th and a. the first test = failed. NIET.

* jameson. and vodka. and beer.
if you do not like at least one of the above - NIET.

* if you wanted to interview me you shoulda asked. i am not applying for whatever job you're offering anyway. NIET.

* hi. word of warning. i am tall. like monster sized tall. if you cannot control your staring and your head actually moving up and down as you take a look....NIET

* if you can't believe in dreams but settle for what's 'realistic' - NIET

and one final and very poignant reason. and my personal favorite:

* i'm not so sure i'm into confused bisexual go-go dancing police officers. but hey you never know, right? NIET.

dreams.

dreams that decide how to stretch.
bare bones and open palms.
reaching for abundance.
curse the distant waves that
can only come closer
waiting for the lesser known
fate of a face to release
to return
to find solace
and carry it
bright on his back
and place it
warily
at my feet.

only in nyc can you have this much fun! [and this is what it is]

chi-town invasion?
family reunion?
spider monkey al quieda ninja clown parades?

check. all of the above.

cast of characters:
sol
christian
mili
greg
tommie sunshine
daddy devine
karem
locke
tanya
chris
noel
grampa (alex)


5 nights. wed-sun. and this is how it goes.
extra curricular activities:

night 1: sushi with mili and greg. dj and dancing at the annex.

night 2: best thai food in nyc at pukk. wine and the ericksons at rockwood with grampa clown. meet christian and sol at docs for family reunion time. wander to 'pick up mili' at hookah bar on 3rd where locke is playing. end up falling into the hookah vortex, drinking beer, sol and i edward cullen-ing ourselves with watermelon double apple sweetness all night! being introduced as a famous singer. dancing skulls. fire breathing. managing to leave and head back to doc holidays. deciding we love hookah bars - who knew? home.

night 3: more sushi. delirious. ditching goldfrapp. rockwood again with mouth 'sneezing' wine. excellent singer songwriter. meander back to hookah bar with loads of wine. migrate to bowery electric to find daddy devine and greg. largest clown parade ever head to annex for a bottle and asking the very obvious question - why are we still out? cab home for edward cullen time.

night 4: ummmmm oh dear. roll outta bed. fling into east village for brunch at the heavenly paprika. business meeting with grampa clown (alex), christian and sol. come up with pretty much the best idea EVER that is going to catapult soooooooo much...just you wait and see. head to dumbo to retrieve concert tickets. take my red skirt and black vested almost x-rated self to meet sol and see in flight radio at irving plaza. rah-rah. bolt. pick up christian. subway to brooklyn. get lost and wander while boys joke that we are going to get shot and upset me by reminding me i live in brooklyn. find the bar. find tanya. eat tasteless burgers. enjoy blueberry beer. entertain ourselves with noel. chris shows up. ummmmmmmmm. [insert censored thoughts here]. ditch the party. cab to iggys. salvation in manhattan. madness. uh oh noel is giving me whiskey. oh dear christian is dripping his drink onto my leg and licking it off. oh my. chris goes home. i think we have a dance party. i definitely am challenged by a stranger and yes i pick him up. noel and i decide we need to learn swing dancing. [insert censored activity here]. ditch iggys. head to kellys. sad clowns to see mean mean mean man kick kid down stairs. almost get in a fight. decide chances aren't good. move on. find out how i was found out as a singer at hookah bar on night 2. the randomness of seeing karem and posse there was just tooooooo much. the right conversation. and finally. last but not least. after embarrassing myself in the corner store with inappropriate conversation as well as lime chips and cheese dip...it happened. the fucking NINJA stole our cab. 'um did you just call me a ninja!?' 6am bedtime.

night 5: yes there's more. 11am wake up. unheard of delirium sets in. must have benedict and coffee. meet boys on ave c. walk way too much in the way too freakin hot sun. after looking at at least 10 restaurants and even going so far as sitting down in one and then getting up and leaving we end up a block from 'home' and have pretty much the best brunch ever with the most fabulous french people YES. now it's time for games. oh and please do not forget the freakin sippy cups. why are people looking at us so strangely? why aren't they laughing more? what is so wrong with drinking out of santas brains. free pizza. and 3-13 games. migrate. i love gay bars ps. why? free pizza, HAPPY HOUR and FREE WII. wii bowling rules at life and makes me want to sneeze. sol is out of control because he wins at EVERYTHING and rules at life so much i almost want to hate him. supplies from whole foods and a trip to a non blog appropriate store that definitely took our friendship to a new level [insert x-rated innuendos here]. it's finally time. doc holiday's. meridith we missed you. more sippy cup action. more 3-13 action. i should go home. do i? oh heck no. garth brooks. i do believe i saw christian picking up johnny's sister and throwing her onto the pool table. and then there was pole dancing. i for sure have bruising on my arms from that christian. ps. i'm sure your knees are bruised too? we lost santa to the wasteland that is the floor behind the bar. sad clown. more dancing. more laughing. it's 2am. i'm in a cab. goodnight.

i love you guys.